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  • Writer's pictureMatt Gray

Nice Guys Don't Finish Last - You're Just A Sexual Predator

Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last.

It’s true, they really don’t. At least not in the realm of women and dating. If you disagree, well you are exactly the person that needs to read this post, so bare with me please. Tell me if this sounds familiar: You meet a girl that you are interested in, she’s single and beautiful, she’s funny and smart, she’s kind to you. You make an effort to get noticed by her, and you start doing nice things for her. Eventually you start a friendship, and you become close. You’ve done everything right, you started as friends, you were kind and sweet, you did so many nice things for this girl, and then when you finally shoot your shot she rejects you. Probably even started sleeping with some douche. After all the emotional investment, the time investment, and often financial investment you still find yourself rejected. You’re hurt, you’re angry, your sad. What do you do?? A popular option is lash out at the girl, attack her morals and her taste in men. Accuse her of using you. After that, you can complain online about the “friendzone”, join an incel community and start worshipping Jordan Peterson.

There’s actually a much better option than that though, better for everyone. Stop being a sexual predator. Let’s have a look at what you’re actually doing when you “do everything right”. First and foremost, you’ve begun a personal relationship with this person – a normal friendship that is not based on a sexual attraction. Right off the bat you are misrepresenting your intentions – your plan is to have sex with this girl and you’re lying to her about it so that she feels safe enough to get close to you. Immediately right out the gate there’s your first predatory action. This is a BIG one that happens constantly.

So next you start with the acts of service, the kindness, the gifts “just because I saw it and thought of you”, the emotional support and the “I’ll always be here for you” stuff. Once again, you are lying. These are not acts of friendship, these are not acts of support. These are attempts to get this girl to like you more, or to make her see you as attractive. So thus far you’ve tricked her into letting you get close and to feel safe, and now you are trying to manipulate her in a way that makes her more likely to have sex with you. Predatory action #2.

Then, often when she has a moment of great vulnerability, you eventually get the courage to shoot your shot. Then after all that work, after everything you did, after all you went through, you get rejected. Or she gets a boyfriend that’s not you. This is often when “nice guys” flip, and show their true colors. They become abusive, they say angry things, sexually degrading things, use all the things that they did for this girl against her.

So let’s recap what you’ve done so far. You’ve hidden your intentions under a veil of a healthy friendship. You’ve attempted to manipulate this girl into changing the dynamic of this relationship without her realizing it. Now you’ve become angry at her for going out with someone who “doesn’t deserve her”. I’m sorry, but why do you deserve her?? Friendships aren’t transactional. You don’t get points for doing nice things, and then get to trade them for affection, or intimacy. You literally believe that you are now entitled to have sex with this girl, and you have even tried to make her feel obligated!!! Holy SHIT predatory action #3 right there.

Here’s something you need to understand. No matter what you do for someone, no matter how much you’ve done for them, you are not entitled to their body. They are not objects to be earned or bought with “nice points” ffs. Nothing you ever do, no matter what it is, will ever ever obligate somebody to let you penetrate them, you fucking creep.

The entire “nice guy” cycle in a nutshell is as follows:

Step 1: Find attractive girl

Step 2: Misrepresent your intentions (lie) to said girl to make her feel safe

Step 3: Become close to this girl under the veil of friendship

Step 4: Take actions that you believe will add up and entitle you to sex, under the guise of being a good friend

Step 5: Become angry at this girl when she does not fulfill her obligation to have sex with you. Despite you never having stated those intentions at any point. Despite YOU starting a friendship that is not based on attraction at all. Despite all the shit you said and did to make her feel safe and respected.

These guys are everywhere too, almost every woman I know has run into them at some point. If you are somebody that finds yourself stuck in this cycle then you need to know this. You are not a nice guy. You are a sexual predator.

Now that you know that, you have options. Refuse to accept this - stay the same, stay miserable. Join the incel movement, and become even more angry and bitter – you’ll find tons of validation for your predatory actions there, and you can share your misery and allow to to grow. Or... be better and learn how to have healthy relationships with yourself, and women. Changing perspectives is hard, but you can do it if you want to. You really should want to, because its the only way you’ll ever have a healthy and happy relationship.

Nice guys – stop being sexual predators. Genuinely nice people don’t have these problems in the same way.

Thank you for reading.

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